The Good Old Days

When Metal was still dangerous and scary to christians. OK, I was 8 years old when this was filmed, but it still seems cooler than now.

Show

There are rumors that these guys are no longer going to play Death Metal in a vegan bakery.

Horde of Worms

In case you can't tell by the picture, Horde of Worms is evil, brutal and oldschool. If I'm not mistaken, 2012 will mark 15 years for these Toronto based maniacs. Catch up on what you missed. HordeofWorms.com

Even if Horde of Worms aren't playing, this whole show looks pretty oldschool and true. Some creatures are definitely going to lurch out of the abyss for this one.

I'm speechless

 I'm still trying to digest what I just watched.

 

Fuckin Europe. Holy shit.

This guy is living my dream life. Fuck me.I'm gonna go blow my brains out now.

George "Corpsegrinder" Fisher, Death Metal hero

"We're always gonna be Death Metal, we're always gonna be proud to be called Death Metal, we're not gonna shy away from that terminology. We're a Death Metal band and we sing what we sing about, it's no compromise, I'm not gonna apologize for it and if you don't understand it - go fuck yourself." 

- George "Corpsegrinder" Fisher

(Vocalist - Cannibal Corpse, Paths of Possession, ex - Monstrosity)

 

Chris who?

Happy Satanic Ice Ritual

Best present ever: not being born in Siberia, where a large population of young people end up doing a drug that makes crack or meth look like a trip to Disney World. It is to heroin what bathtub moonshine is to Zima. It's called Krokodil (because users skin turns green and scaly like a crocodile) and it makes your flesh rot away.  Let's hope this catches on with heroin obsessed American Black Metal bands.Warning: extremely goregrind and dark. Peep it:

 

In other sad news, the Vatican condemned attacks on churches during christmas services by Islamist extremists in Nigeria today. I guess the pope is still on the fence about the whole child molesting thing, but at least he has his mind made up when you start killing people who are his main source of revenue. Not to make light of this tragedy, but this officially means black people are better at Black Metal than white people - all results/ no music.

Christmas Day Church Bombings in Nigeria

Best Smith family Christmas day dinner quote:

"The best Black Metal band in the world today is this band, ""Revenge", from Canada".

- Adam Rotella

You be the judge...

Merry reverse hymen christ burst to all and to all a good night.

It's goin down

Saturday, January 14th 2012

4pm Metal Matinee @ ABC NO RIO (NYC)

AbcNo Rio.Org

Artificial Brain

Archon

Belus

So Hideous My Love

See you there, tough guy.

We will be playing songs from our forthcoming EP, to be recorded early 2012.

Ra will be in attendance. Oldschool shit.

"Morals like frozen piss" is a line from a Thought Industry song

While editing that last post, I stumbled across this - a new Biolich guitar cover on youtube - posted just earlier this month. Brought back memories of when we wrote that song in Andrews basement. For the record, I came up with the little guitar/bass/drum/vox pass-off routine between 1:04 - 1:10 - I'm all about teamwork, bro. The birds at the end of the song during the fadeout were completely accidental, I swear. We recorded the drums in a friends basement and he left the window open. We couldn't have pulled that off if we tried. One more thing, I have NEVER performed clean vocals on any recording for any band, ever - it's not me, I swear. Anyway, nice job, dude, I'm glad someone got something out of all the shit we went through.

And here is the original "Morals..." guitar cover by the guitarist of Level Above Human. Ironically, Kylesa was one of Dan Olivencias favorite bands around the Biolich era. Level Above Human sent me their EP a few years ago and it never left my car. As a matter of fact I was just playing it last night for Adam Rotella and he remarked that it reminded him of Damnable from Poland. Certainly a fitting comparison in terms of over the top guttural vocals and powerhouse, wall of sound death metal. L.A.H. are a modern beast all to themselves, though, and push the barriers of this style with jazz and electronic music excursions to break up the breakneck gravy gurgles that might bring to mind a certain shitty band of NY wierdos that broke up forever in 2006.Here they are  keeping it sick and displaying awesome hair in their Gothenburg rehearsal spot. Apparently somebody says something funny in Swedish at the end of the video.

Biolich @ Rock Star Bar, Brooklyn. 3/9/06. Notice Ra (Black baseball
jersey, left/above Andrews head) singing along. I am buried in the crowd.
This was a Palindrome show booked by Mary and Walter. Sigh...

All bullshit aside, you creepy Biolich fans that keep coming out of the woodwork are the reason I'm still doing this and singing for Artificial Brain instead of selling my microphone and impregnating a woman who has good credit. One of you freaks even made this:

Biolichisdead.blogspot.com

I obviously know who it is, and so will Andrew and Dan. There was only one Biolich fan so meticulous and precise as to know the inner workings of the band good enough to get this so right. You marvelous bastard. Well, Biolich is definitely dead forever, boys. And for the record, I still do not condone the unofficial leak of "Sparrows and Wheel barrows". If you rock that shit I don't want to know about it.

"May those hollow sockets never find eyes to see the beast that stands in it's place"

-Biolich, " Time Kills Everything"

Throwback

From the Biolich / Demilich 2006 tour. Doing my duty to fight racism in America. Shot by Dan Olivencia.
While I'm at it, here's some Biolich releases for free download. Merry Christmas, fuckers.

Biolich 2001 demo

Biolich - 1997 demo (cheap Demilich ripoff)

And just to clear things up, as I saw some shit talking on youtube , this was obviously a ridiculous joke and typical of the type of humor we relished in during the Biolich era. The whole act is something we did to blow off steam about all the tough guy Jersey shore bands we were around back home in NY. You think we pioneered guttural emo by calling women "bitches"? Thanks to Adam for always having my back.

Free majestic mountain Metal (Warning : Not Death Metal)

Who knew they had Winter in Tasmania?

Astral Winter, a one man project from Tasmania, plays a very tasteful, regal sounding  brand of atmospheric Black Metal. He uses a drum machine, but obviously takes painstaking steps to give variety and depth to the percussion. Heavy on synths and clean guitars, but lacking any clean singing (bravo), he walks a fine line between over the top orchestration and heartfelt, majestic metal. For one man, this is very impressive. Apparently, he parted ways with his vocalist shortly before this recording. I think he does a fine job, using a mid range black metal rasp to good atmospheric effect. Many aspects of the songwriting drift dreamily between different shades of melodic metal, but the vocals manage to remind you where you are aesthetically every time. Though this is not my usual territory, I was struck by the bombastic level of grandeur and profound range of emotion, all expressed so cohesively and with excellent flow. I'll have this in my ipod when I'm shoveling grey snow in smelly Long Island the next few months.
Astral Winter myspace (link to free EP here)

wow

A picture's worth a thousand words.

Yea!

This shit is still straight up butter 7 years later. I love this fat bastard. Damn, I'm sorry.

New Buckshot Facelift Homebase

Still working on it, I want to put all of our releases up there for free download and pictures of the new/old shirts...

Swallow the vomit lumps..

.

New Zealand Metal Scene Murder/Suicide

Make you sure you let people know Will told you about this first.

This is Matt Hall aka Blaps Warmonger.

 He was the lead vocalist for New Zealand brutal Death/Grinders Backyard Burial for over ten years until he was tragically and brutally stabbed to death in bed earlier this year. According to news reports he brewed his own beer and did some kind of social work for a living. Judging from old photos compared to this one, he apparently discovered weightlifting at some point, to. Blaps was a Death Metal hero and valued member of New Zealand society. We salute you Blaps. Tonight I drink to Backyard Burial. All you wannabe Death Metal singers out there can watch Blaps display the fine art of distancing the mic to accomodate the change in volume between guttural vocals and screams right here. Step your game up.

This is Timothy Parlane.

Bulletbelt. That's Tim on the left.

Blood Of The Moon

He allegedly confessed to a female friend that he entered Matt's house during the day and waited for Matt, apparently until Matt was sleeping, then stabbed him with two knives repeatedly. None of this can really be proven though, since Tim was hit by a train a few days later. He was reportedly definitely suicidal at the time.Though not as accomplished and straight forward with his contributions to Metal, he had an interesting resume, including  Bass and backing vocals in brutal Death Metal band DEFILOGEN (that's him in the Deicide shirt.), and live guitarist for extremely obscure black metal project, Blood Of The Moon. His latest undertaking was bass and vocal duties in Bulletbelt. That is apparently where the trouble starts. At some point following the recording of Bulletbelt's debut EP, "The Black Army Stands", Tim parted ways with the band. According to witness reports in the New Zealand press, following the split,Tim was called out by Matt of Backyard Burial at a show for being a "Narc" and sent a song out "against narcs". This is possibly the first known case of someone being hunted down and stabbed to death for shit talking on stage in the underground scene. Eventually a real metal journalist will discover this story (almost a year ago now, guys...) and inevitably try to portray this as some sort of modern day guttural version of the Euronymous-Norway thing. Pretty funny considering this Encyclopaedia Mettalum review, which predates both the murder and suicide, praises Blood of the Moon as a band for people who miss the black metal of old times. Who knew it'd be the guttural Death Metal guy you hired to play live guitar that would really keep it necro and kill a death metal icon then jump in front of a train.

At least the music is better this time.

  

Yea!

Free Irish Death Metal?

Why not? Over the years I've heard of Irish bands here and there, but I never pictured there being much of a scene in Ireland for Death Metal. Zealot Cult prove me wrong with a well produced 5 song demo, available for free download (see link at bottom), that reflects a healthy love of evil leads with roots in the underground and zero aspirations for the mall. This is top notch modern Death Metal with a strong tendency towards Florida a la  Morbid Angel, Hate Eternal and Deicide. I would say Zealot Cult reflects these types of bands not only stylistically, but also in attention to songwriting, tightness and the professionalism of the finished product. Raging, dark and flashy without overdoing it,  Zealot Cult will make you proud to be Death Metal on St. Patricks day or any other day of the year.

Zealot Cult  

And just in case you didn't know about Irish Death Metal, go to MetalIreland.com and they'll set you straight like they did me.

Shots Fired / Free Finnish Death Metal

I was just chillin outside, doing some totally pagan yard work, when all of a sudden the police helicopter swept my neighborhood up and down for nearly 40 minutes. Unfortunately, my camera is temporarily out of order and I couldn't capture images of the ghetto bird over my house, but this link will provide the explanation - a special Thanksgiving triple shooting 5 blocks from where I live - also right in back of the local Catholic Church. Newsday already has the scoop, with a shot of Suffolk County's finest taping off the block...
Triple shooting in Huntington Station

Last night I saw the Huntington Holiday parade in town. It was the first time I saw the Guardian Angels walk the streets of Huntington....

......................................................................................................................................................................


Anyway, while I'm here, might as well hype some Finnish Death Metal...

Because I'm totally necro, I'm marking the chaos by having a drink to Refusal's "Short on Ammo" demo, which I downloaded for free. You can to - they have all of their releases available on their website here :

Refusal (Finland)

In a nutshell, Refusal is raw and forceful. Somewhere between Extreme Noise Terror and Deranged with very little regard for subtlety - just like the Suffolk County Police. These guys would fit perfectly on one of those old Earache Records Grindcrusher compilations. A raging reality check in a world of harsh truths.

See? I don't give a fuck, I'll use anything as an excuse to hook you up with free death metal.

Free Guttural Prog from Sweden

Wow. An Infinite Dream Sequence from Sweden were a short lived two man project who only put out 2 demos and a full length, "The Series of Reveries Subsides", between 2008 and 2010, then split up. They are a hard rascal to pin down - if nothing else this was something completely different and fresh in Death Metal. It's very over the top with prog and jazz, often soaring into overdrive symphonic video game music territory, but then stabilizing itself with  nordic metal strides and pig grunt - sewage blastbeats. That doesn't even do it justice - though leaving an understated legacy, this was for sure a freak of forward thinking guttural Death Metal.   From what I know they released everything on the internet for free, but alot of the links don't work anymore. This was actually kind of hard to find, so don't let this Death Metal treasure go completely under the radar.

An Infinite Dream Sequence

Be Thankful for Free Finnish Death Metal

Fleshkraft. The name conjures up interesting imagery for those of us who grew up with Kraft macaroni and cheese - I'm assuming this wasn't a staple of the Finnish diet for these guys growing up so I'll cut them a break on this one. Watch the video, these guys really don't fuck around. Love the vocalist - this guy was ready for the video shoot. As you will see, Fleshkraft place less emphasis on atmosphere and melancholy than they do on rocking out and kicking ass for Death Metal. They'll let you download their whole album for free here: FLESHKRAFT

Oldschool

CLEAN

When we were young. I think this is probably close to ten years ago. OK actually almost 7 years ago - 3/19/2005, Biolich/Copremesis/Lynched/Incarnate at the Almost Home Cafe. It was Andrews 7th birthday or something. Lynched had a homemade DVD they were giving out, If I can find it I'll post it.

Yea!

Excellent New Finnish Death Metal (for FREE)

Solothus from Finland play very thick, stomping Death/Doom - the highlights of which are the furious, throaty sounding guttural vocals and dirgy funeral march breakdowns that often evoke the feel of classic obscure Finnish bands of yesteryear. A very oldschool Sabbath atmosphere puncuates the whole affair without overshadowing the Death Metal vibe. This is thoroughly Death Metal, only trailing off enough to allow the guitars to flourish over doomy passages, creating a very addictive signature sound. Solothus is perfectly Finnish - raw and brutal enough to please the most hardened death metal warrior, but with that extra touch of heady atmosphere which borders on the psychedelic.  I look forward to listening to this as the first snow covers Long Island this year. Download their 3 song demo, "Ritual of the Horned Skull", from Facebook like a nerd.

Solothus

West Coast Shit

 

I don't know about you guys, but I'm loving how the Neo-90s Death Metal thing is exploding all over lately. GORESKIN COFFIN (love the name) from northern California play evil sounding dark death metal prone to Immolation like atmosphere and even some classic Scandinavian sounding bleakness. Though they often rival classic Czech bands of yore in relentless rounds of blasting and brutality, they seem to do so almost subconciously as they effortlessly shift gears into bleak melodic skepticism. This is Death Metal that shows the genre can evolve while still evoking classic nostalgia. Well done and well produced with a thick wall of sound, their EP, "Corpse Filled Caskets", stands out both for its innovation and its timelessness. They thought you deserve to have it for free because you have a computer and the internet. Listen to the song "Dominion" for a quasi-Finnish foray into despondent metal territory. Don't be a dick and miss this, Paulo.

Goreskin Coffin

This is a quick laugh

It takes 1:12 to get to the punchline. This is the best laugh I've had all day.

 

If this got you depressed at first like it did me, just remember this...

"all kinds of surge for the mighty cult ... TOTAL GORE"

-Antimo, Disgorge (Thanks list, Forensick)

Situation normalized.

Dan alert has been downgraded to code : pickles. I received a text from Dan today stating that "Shit is mad real.". Though we do not yet know the nature of said shit and can not verify if it is, in fact, "mad real", at least we can rest assured that our man is out there somewhere roaming the streets, within reach of a cell phone and internet access. Good night and good luck to you all. Fuckin sick.

Dan Alert (Code Jalapeno)

As it has been 3 weeks or more since anyone over here has heard from Dan Olivencia, we are issuing a code jalapeno high alert. Please stay alert - he may be playing bass in death metal and/or grindcore bands and possibly serving pumpkin spice frappuchinos.

Late Halloween Treat

Dehumanized in full corpse paint at Castle Heights Halloween 1996. That about says it all. This is from the classic original lineup with Mike Zuzio on vocals, about 1 year before I started going to shows at Castle Heights. By the time I got there, they had Jerry, who would drink whole bottles of tequila across the street before his friends ushered him in to the stage. He had a sick Deranged classic logo shirt, to. These guys are still around and playing shows, with Crazy Paul still going hard. Respect.

Yea!

Pagan tree art

More art projects I did with developmentally disabled adults at work.

 Tribute to Brazilian jazz vocalist Astrud Gilberto.

                                                                            Happy Halloween

More FREE Death Metal

Orphalis is from Germany 

 

They are fresh and not fucking around. They subscribe to the "overwhelming flurry of evil riffs and jackhammer blasts" school of modern Death Metal and do so with tact and precision. Though slightly more dissonant and prone to subtle atmosphere than contemporaries such as Internal Suffering or Deranged, I'd say these guys definitely give established acts like Hate Eternal and Nile a run for their money.

This band brought back memories of oldschool Godless Truth and even a little Iniquity at times. Check out their free demo online.

Orphalis myspace page (has link for free demo)

After that, check out this picture of Dan Olivencia in an elevator with a really hot German woman.

Holla!

Frostbitten Hallows Eve

Snow accumulated here on Long Island last night, two whole days before Halloween. Winter's here early this year, stock up the liquor and Finnish death metal - icy grimness has arrived.

Oldschool and necro

Pro Wrestler Kevin Sullivan was well known for working a satanic cult angle in the early eighties long before The Undertaker or Papa Shango. Conspiracy theorists insinuate that he may have framed fellow wrestler Chris Benoit in the double murder/suicide of his wife and son. This shit is TRUE.

Back to the free Death Metal

(musicians in Argos, Greece. Not Hedon Cries)

Hedon Cries

Hedon Cries from Argos, Greece play beautiful, well written Doom/Death Metal. Though they allow the songs to flourish with somber, eurodoom melancholy and gallop with epic metal majesty, they never betray a backbone of oldschool blackened Death Metal. Attention is payed to every subtle detail and they display a talent for the nuances that make for memorable songwriting, however, Hedon Cries completely forgoes clean vocals and uses keyboards sparsely - endearing them to a diehard Death Metalhead like me. This careful balance of regal, high brow, melodic sensibilities and guttural, pounding, atmospheric core is often laughable in less capable hands, but these guys drive it home and leave nothing wanting in composition, execution or production. What's more, they want  you to have their latest full length album, "The End of the Path is Nigh", for free, so they put it up for free download. It was released through a net label called Torn Flesh Records, which has released tons of stuff for free. I'll post more on them once I wade through a few more releases.

Hedon Cries website

Ultimate Reality

1990

 

If you listen closely, I think Ultimate Warrior is somehow prophetically quoting Internal Suffering lyrics.

2011

 

The Ultimate Warrior completely dissects Hulk Hogan and his family as sexually deviant, drug addicted monsters for an hour, then makes some sort of vague threat or challenge at the end, inviting all his fans to load a gun and he'll pull the trigger. Beef is epic. When I showed this to Dan he ran out of the room punching himself. I found him 6 hours later at a gym in Queens

.

You got to feel me on this

Any of the Smokehuts crew and the Pepper Camp alumni know what this is right here. I guess French Montana beat me to it, but this is hilarious.

Yea!

Beef Wellington

Know why these English guys are so pissed off? Because they fucking hate Alex and Paulo from Copremesis. If you notice -Limey to the left is wearing a Defeated Sanity shirt. Clearly, they were upset that Copremesis supported Defeated Sanity on their 2008 U.S. tour. Bald Benedict on the right has a classic logo Deranged shirt on, unmistakably a reference to Deranged breaking up and failing to appear at the Maryland Deathfest 2008 - where they would have shared the stage with Copremesis.They probably hate Daniel, to. They wrote this whole song about Copremesis:

I don't know how the beef started, but I'd imagine it had something to do with this rascal.  

Maybe him and Alex got into it on an anime message board, or perhaps those are Paulos first pair of childhood glasses, from when he came to our country as a 10 year old, dorky asian kid. Why did you steal his glasses, Guvnor?  All I know is when there's beef , I always got one oldschool homie I can count on... 

Ever see a Moose on a boat?

 

Dad caught dinner this morning.

  

Scraps were distributed to stray cats and raccoons accordingly.

I'm offended. Seriously.

His hat says "Ghetto". THIS IS WHERE I LIVE . I have never thought of the nieghborhood I grew up in as "ghetto", but the people who live in the rich side of Huntington do, as they petitioned the town last year, successfully, to close the elementary school around the corner from the house I grew up in due to chronic shootings in the area. It seems that the concern was only that rich kids were being bussed into our part of Huntington Station - not that poor kids have to live here. Last weekend my father heard gunshots early in the morning, turns out some guy got shot 6 times in the legs. He lived, the guy who got shot two days later died in the street. This all happens within 2 or 3 blocks of where I grew up. I consider myself "lower middle class", "blue collar", etc... but these are meaningless terms used to further segregate those of us who are truly effected by real life issues like these due to where we live. Day to day - drugs, money, race, gangs, violence and crime are all stressors that my nieghbours and I can not run from, but rather sleep with, and this arrogant, rich little prick ironically wears his fucking "ghetto"hat. Hey Justin, ever get your bike stolen because you're white? Ever have a friend who's younger sister whores herself for drugs? Ever know someone who traded food stamps for cash to buy liquor? Ever see Salvadorians having a machete fight on the street on Thanksgiving while your grandma's in the car? Fuck you, corporate rich kid. Uncle Murda needs to punch Justin Beiber and rap about it. You think it sucks being a nature loving, misanthropic metalhead in Norway? Try the hood, where romance and atmosphere are dead.

"Black seeds of vengeance" - Nile

Best MC name ever.

Uncle Murda - "Warning"

 

 Be sure to watch for the scenes where he raps dressed up like Rambo, Freddy Krueger and Jason from Friday the 13th wearing a Run DMC hat for some reason. Who knew Uncle Murda was so into Halloween? There's also a few funny shots that are supposed to be making fun of P Diddy or Nick Cannon (or both). Although I gave up on the radio for hip hop a long time ago, I am subjected to alot of Hot97 and Power 105 (the only two hip hop stations in NY) at work. For some reason this song really clicked with me. I prefer Uncle Murdas more raw freestyles and mixtape material, but in context of being familiar with him, it's fun to watch him finally get some overkill-repetitive mind control radio rotation shine. Plus in the course of the song rival MCs get compared to Chico Debarge, Milli Vanilli and chihuahas. Maybe he'll knock out one of these Young Money rappers at an awards show or something. This is about as raw as it gets in the commercial hip hop game - a world where old white guys in suits dictate what's hot in the streets, dog. 

"This n**** named Jimmy that was snitchin on my team - died in a car accident, that's a beautiful thing." - Uncle Murda, freestyle

Can you understand now how I go from Dead Infections  "A Chapter of Accidents" to this? What is more anti-christian and necro than finding beauty in the death of an enemy? That's a Viking value.

90s Finnish psychadelic space death metal (not Demilich)

 

There is something about Finnish death metal of the 90s that is so special and dear to my heart. So many bands with their own unique sound, each bringing something different to the table. Though Winterwolf, Nerlich, Slugathor, Deathchain, and many more still keep the proud tradition alive, something about finding an old Finnish band that vanished into obscurity with even less of a historical echo than, say, far from household names Adramelech or Demilich, is for me what smoking a cuban cigar must be like for some rich guy. This is Paraxism, and There's nothing like them. This song is from 1996, but they date back to 1990.

Reppin it

 

Yeah, that's Jimmy from The Communion rocking the Buckshot Facelift demo shirt. Caught you, bro! This guy does more for the underground scene on any given day then I've done all year.  If you're not familiar with these unsung heroes of D.I.Y. then you need to get down, fast. No genre to pin down, just ugly, dark and loud - not to mention some of the best and most original lyrics and song titles I have ever read. Nick, their vocalist, has an amazing gift for disturbing wordplay and creepy stage presence. These guys have endured about a dozen drummers, buried one of their founding members last year and played in the Adirondacks in a trailer (or so I heard). They are a staple of the NY grind/metal scene and work extra hard to support it, with no egos or BS. Here's a link to the band blog, which has free downloads and 5 years worth of back posts for those wanting to catch up with the saga. It's worth checking out for Nicks writing style alone - I want the homie to write my wedding vows one day. Love you, Lee. You will never be forgotten. Matter of fact, I love all those Communion guys (no homo).

"Always rep your friends" - Jon Berg
Nick has an awesome personal blog  - horror movies, grim social commentary, politics, and lots of disturbing pictures. Very informative, insightful and more often than not hilarious.
Masochistian.blogspot.com
And for those of you with a strong constitution, you can check out Nicks blog of graphic, visceral writings at the link below.
Bricks are delicious

Best new Death Metal band you never heard of (trust me)

Ultimate Agony is the new one-man project of the oldschool homie, Will, from Georgia (Same name, different guy - I'm Will from Long Island). You might remember him from Amoebic Dysentery. Just do yourself a favor and listen to this - I don't want to try to describe it and not do it justice. All I can say is that I feel very strongly about this band,  it evokes a festering, abysmal atmosphere that is not easily captured. This is the ageless kind of Death Metal that eats flies and has hair on its knuckles. These types of recordings only come around once in a while and often fade (appropriately) into obscurity forever. Well done, Will, well done. (Applause)

Abrami sighting

There were blastbeats and guttural vocals in The Space for the first time in weeks today. The Brain Campaign doesn't stop. Shout to Dan on the road and Sam in Boston, probably getting spiced.

Peep the brand new ecto-green pickups. Time to slime, homie.

Not only did my old spice wear off before going to rehearsal, but on the train ride home I realized that at some point this week my cat must have pissed on, or near, my jacket. Summon the crust...